H-a-p-p-y!

The title describes my overall feelings these days - oh yes, I am h-a-p-p-y! :)

We finally got to start with Juudit's new nanny last week, but due to several little reasons I didn't feel comfortable to leave her there in the end, so after two days we decided to look for a new place again... It could be I was overreacting, but when it comes to your own children, you just really have to trust your intuition or gut feeling, and you can't settle for a place or nanny you have doubts about.

Again, due to several reasons we decided to apply for a place in public daycare (it's a bit more expensive to us than hiring a private nanny, but on the other hand the places are supervised and the nannies are experienced and have degrees) - but we thought it would take a long time before we would get one close enough to our home, as the last years' baby boom has made it difficult to get a place in a public nursery. To our surprise we were called immediately and Juudit was offered a place that sounded really good! The place, a tiny nursery of 12 children and 3 nannies, is within a walking distance from us, but you can also take a bus there. The building is brand new and the nursery is run in a regular flat with a big yard - so it's very a "home like" environment. I know Juudit enjoys playing in a group nowadays, so I'm actually happy there will be several kids with different personalities she can interact with, but it's still not a huge nursery with dozens of children, which could be a little restless for a 2-year-old.

The only thing was that she could be there on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays, and we had just started music playschool classes on Mondays, and gym classes (with Juudit and her nan) on Tuesdays. But I was able to switch the music group from Monday to Thursday, and as the gym class is in the evening, the grandparents promised to pick her up from daycare on Tuesdays and take her to the gym class after that. If it seems it will be too tiresome for her to do both on the same day, we can always cancel the gym classes. Then the grandparents will take care of Juudit on Wednesdays, which leaves Thursdays for mummy-daughter time. :)

We were supposed to go and see the nursery, getting to know the nannies and other children, on Friday morning, but as I was down with a nasty stomach bug, the grandparents were taking care of Juudit that day and visited the nursery. They absolutely loved it, and I can't wait until tomorrow morning when I get to go and see it myself! I'm so extremely happy and relieved as this adventure finally seems to come to an end, and we have hopefully found a very good, long-term daycare place for our precious daughter - and I can stop being a SAHM (except on Thursdays!) and focus on my work assignments once again. Woo-hoo!

Hopefully I can also start blogging about some other things now that those daycare issues won't be constantly on my mind anymore...

Lately I've been fascinated by several different things, and here are a couple of them:

1) Garden planning. We have possibly found a buyer for this one bedroom flat Karlo owns and that we have been renting out these years. If we'll actually sell it, we'll have enough money for the renovations we've been wanting to do, but have had to forget for the moment, because we ran out of money. Our yard/garden is number one on my list, and I'm hopeful enough now to have started planning how I'd like it to be. We would/will hire a designer and other professionals to really do it, but it's still great fun to plan the basics myself. I would love to really get into gardening now that I actually have a garden, but for the moment it's just a very dull "clearing" with mostly grass growing on it (somewhere under the thick layer of snow...).

2) Tea. I have always (well since I was a teenager) been a pretty avid tea drinker, and I don't make coffee at home at all. That is very very odd in Finland, because we, as a nation, drink the most coffee in the world. Actually it was only a couple of years ago that I had my first cup of coffee (before that I could always score a point in the "I have never" drinking game, lol). Nowadays I do drink iced coffee drinks and I love going for a latte in a coffee shop (and think about getting an espresso machine for myself), but mostly I still drink tea. My regular is a cup of Earl Grey with milk. I haven't been a proper "tea snob", but I don't like it if I'm offered a tea bag and/or not piping hot water in a café. However, a little while ago I decided to order online a selection of very fine and different teas, and they arrived last week. I still haven't opened all the sample pouches yet, but there is not just very good Earl Grey, but also Darjeeling, Oolong, white and green tea, some with jasmine scent that I love etc. I have also studied how to brew a perfect cup of each, and now I'm loving my daily "tea moments" even more than before. Yay!

3) Cloth nappies. One of my alter egos is Lisa Simpson, and I like to be "ecologically aware". When I was pregnant with Juudit, it was obvious we would use cloth nappies instead of "normal" ones. Not only did it make me feel like a very good person (lol), but it turned out to be a great hobby, too! There are so many different kinds of cloth nappies it was great to learn about them, order them and discuss them with other people online. I know it sounds a little sad, but I tell you I'm not the only person that has become an enthusiast! :) Anyway, it turned out Juudit's skin was so sensitive it couldn't deal with the cloth nappies - even if it's usually the other way around. I thought I tried everything, but nothing worked and her rashes would heal only when we changed into plastic nappies. :( Nowadays I think I should've tried more than a couple of detergents, and used a lot less of them, as it was probably the remnants of the detergents that caused the rash in the end. But we stopped using the cloth nappies when Juudit was less than 6 months old. Now I'm hoping for better luck and have ordered Bumpie (we actually call him Tomas for now) tons of new diapers. And it's been great fun!

Then I have obviously been working and studying whenever I've found a moment in this SAHM life of mine... And also the pregnancy and Tomas are increasingly on my mind. It turned out the protein in my urine was caused by an infection, which was a relief, but this week my BP has been a little high and it has got me a little worried. However, this morning it was very low, so I'm confident again. My next checkup at the prenatal clinic will be next Thursday, and I hope everything will be okay.

Karlo in on a business trip in Canada now (from this Thursday to next Tuesday), so we've been a little lonely. The great thing has been that the grandparents have taken Juudit there a lot, and I've enjoyed this amazing quality time on my own! She spent the night there now, and she was also there all Friday because of my stomach bug. She'll be home in a couple of hours, and of course I miss her already... I still have time to go to sauna on my own to really enjoy the calmness and heat. I have been taking care of my duties, but also watching girly films, eating way too much junk and other comfort food, meditating, doing regressions, chatting using IM with foreign friends and sleeping in... It's been so much fun, but it wouldn't be if my everyday life was like that. :)

There are some interesting past life revelations to tell you about, but it will have to wait until next time.

I've also been a little melancholy as my granddad died on Thursday. There was actually nothing very sad about it, as he had been in a bad shape for a long time, and wanted to go himself. He was ready to leave that aching body behind. Also my grandma, his wife, died already 10 years ago, and there was no new girlfriend that he would've left behind alone and mourning. So even if it might sound harsh, I'm just happy for granddad that he got to leave. I wish him luck on his journey - and a pleasant next life after he's gotten some rest. Maybe we'll meet again one day - in this or some other life. :)

The funeral will be on February 13, so it means another trip back home then, which is cool. Maybe funerals are never "fun", but I look forward to the opportunity to meet the relatives and talk about granddad's life. It always feels good to say a proper goodbye, imo.

I've noticed that people close to you that pass, usually make an appearance in one way or the other to say goodbye. For example when my (other) grandma passed, I could feel her distinctive smell all around me the same night. As for grandad, I think he made the funniest appearance on Thursday night: I was going to bed, when I suddenly noticed a fly of all things walking on my wardrobe door next to me, and flying around a little. I was surprised to see it, as it's definitely not a normal sight in the middle of winter here! It was also funny that as it was flying, there was no sound coming out of it at all. At the same time I could hear Juudit in her room becoming restless, twisting and turning, saying something in her sleep. Then the fly disappeared - and I haven't seen it since - and Juudit calmed down.

A fly! Gotta love granddad's sense of humour! :D

Oh, because I blog so rarely, I'd have millions of things to say, but there's no time and it's not very convenient for the readers, either. So I'll stop here and try to blog more often with shorter entries from now on..

Have a lovely Sunday and/or beginning of the week everybody! I'm off to sauna now. :)

Mikaela

TGIF!

It's been a trying week for me mentally, and I'm so happy it's Friday now. Juudit has been throwing tantrums on daytime and having night terrors at nights, so I've been exhausted. Last night, however, she slept soundly all through the night, so I'm not tired today and have immediately felt a little better.

We were supposed to go and meet one nanny candidate yesterday, but the family at whose house the nanny would take care of the kids (in addition to Juudit one girl her age and her little brother, who's just turned 1) was down with a flu and fever, so we didn't want to go. I had been hoping Juudit would've been there already today (partly with me present) trying it out, but no - it's been another mummy-daughter day for us. Oh joy. LOL It's been okay, even though she's still not napping. We have snow now, so she loved it outdoors (unlike her mummy), and even though I had thought we would visit the local library, she was so happy playing in the snow, I decided we could go some other day.

Karlo will be home from work soon, but he might go out tonight as they'll hold "varpajaiset" for one of his friends. It means a party for a fresh daddy. :) I don't know if there is a word/tradition for that in English (speaking world), but here, when there's a newcomer in a man's family, his friends take him out to drink Scotch and smoke cigars. :) Karlo might got there tonight after we have gotten Juudit to bed, and even though I would love to spend the evening with him, I'm also okay with being on my own (as long as Juudit will sleep).

I'm looking forward to a TV show premiere that will be on tonight. I'm talking about a British TV show called The Street. It's the first season, but I really think both Karlo and I are going to love the show, as we love British TV in general, and this show has many features we tend to like. It sounds a bit similar to for example Clocking Off and Sorted.

I think tomorrow will be a very laid-back day, but I'm just happy Karlo will be here to share the household duties and taking care of Juudit. Maybe I'll visit the library on my own. On Sunday I've made plans to go once again to see a film (either Rachel Getting Married or Un conte de Noël) and to have lunch with one of my girlfriends. Really looking forward to that!

I was to a check-up at the maternity clinic yesterday, and there was some protein in my urine sample, which could mean I'm getting pre-eclampsia once again. Luckily my blood pressure is still low, so it's most likely just some infection, but I have to go to a lab to make sure. It would be horrible to get the pre-eclampsia this time, as it might mean I would have to stay in a hospital for a long time - separated from Juudit. It wasn't a picnic the last time, either, but at least I didn't have any children yet back then.

Other than that all was well with me and Bumpie. In a week I'll be in my third trimester, yay!

Have a good weekend, everybody!

Still, still, still

Juudit still won't nap and we still haven't found a new nanny for her, so I'm still short of online time... I just wanted to add a detail photo of our New Year's Eve table setting, so here it is:

Flowers and everything as you can see. :) Nice, eh?

As last week was wearing me out with spending so much time just at home, and alone with Juudit, I decided yesterday I need to get out a little, and went to see Baz Luhrmann's Australia alone. I have always liked going to the cinema alone, but I have made it a habit only recently. It's a nice way to spend some me-time away from the family, and I get to see good, girly films, Karlo wouldn't be so excited about. :) Don't get me wrong, I love going with him, too, but it's a rare treat nowadays - after Juudit was born. Sometimes I go with my sister or a girlfriend, but I often decide I want to go the same or the next day, and it's always a bit of a challenge to make shared plans on such a short notice. Besides, like I said, I actually like going alone. I guess I'm a but weird that way. ;)

I remember I did that for the first time when I was a teenager. Back then I was really social - much more than nowadays - but I still loved how the experience felt really private and you didn't have to discuss it with anybody if you didn't feel like it. The following years I went alone only once in a blue moon, but I was often irritated afterwards if I went with other people. It's silly, but especially if I'm really impressed with the film, I can't stand people chatting about mundane stuff right afterwards, when I'm still re-living the film. Even if they want to talk about what we've just seen, I might not so soon. I just want to be quiet and reflect.

So nowadays I only love going alone and won't usually even ask anyone to join me. :)

I was really looking forward to seeing Australia, and like so often when you wait for something in anticipation, was a little bit disappointed. It was a good film, even impressive in many ways, and I really like Nicole Kidman as an actress. I also loved her wardrobe in this film, and the little boy was cute as a button! But still, I think I was just expecting too much. And for some reason I'm not drawn to or fascinated by Australia, even though the culture of the Aboriginal people is definitely interesting. I guess I have never had a past life there, or then it has been something unpleasant.

So yes, a nice experience, and I did get emotional crying in many parts, but it was not a divine film, imo. And of course I had to buy popcorn and a soft drink, because cinema is nothing without them, but being preggers I would've needed to go to a loo badly after 30 minutes, and it was a 3 hour film. LOL

Being temporarily a SAHM -- and a film freak

Wow, it has been a while, again. Sorry about that. And I wish everyone a happy, happy 2009! The holidays are mostly over now. We're going for an Epiphany dinner over at Karlo's parents next week, but all we have to do is go, so it won't take any organising. Pheew.

Christmas was - once again - super lovely! I can't but love it enormously, and it's great to see Juudit's and her cousin's excitement as they grow and understand more and more about the magic of the season. Juudit was also fascinated of the snow they had plenty in eastern Finland.

Last night, the New Year's Eve, was really easy this year - like it has been for a couple of years, as nobody's really volunteering to babysit then... Hehe. So we took Juudit out to see some fireworks, had a nice dinner of fried halloumi salad and a Finnish delicacy of rice pasties made of rye with this thing called "eggbutter" on them. After Juudit had fallen asleep, we had also some pink champagne, watched a couple of good films and then went on our balcony to see some more fireworks around midnight. It was a nice evening in a relaxed way, and I'm looking forward to a nice year with the family growing. Being a little scared of it, too, though...

One of the reasons why I haven't found time to blog lately is that when I've been around, so has Juudit. We're still looking for a new nanny/daycare place for her, and even though she's sometimes at the grandparents', I've spent several days alone with her after Christmas. I have to admit I'm not naturally talented in beinga stay-at-home-mum, but I guess I could manage a couple of days every now and then, if we hadn't just (finally!) taken Juudit's dummy away from her, and she would nap happily sucking on that pacifier. Now it's a different story. I know it will pass, but this week she hasn't been able to fall asleep for a nap without her dummy, and my hair is growing grey trying to find ways to entertain her non-stop all day.

She's not one of those children, who will happily play alone. If I need to get something done, I have to play a dvd for her, so she's been watching too much telly lately. And I hate going out to a park with her, at least now that it's winter, so she doesn't get enough of fresh air and outdoor activities. I just can't find the joy in watching children crawling in a sandbox while it's sleeting and freezing cold. And I feel like the lousiest mum, being so frustrated and bored around my own daughter that I love more than anything in this world, and for whom I would do anything. Except for playing (outside) all day long. *sigh*

I have decided I am a good mum, but not every woman was created to be a SAHM (stay at home mum), and I shouldn't worry about it too much. Even Juudit might grow up to be a balanced person despite this short period of too many dvd's and too little outdoor activities. Hopefully next week we'll have a new nanny for her, and the whole family will be a little happier.

What has made me happy these past couple of days is a certain book - and indirectly films. On Tuesday I was going to Helsinki by bus to get my nails done, and to an ice hockey game Karlo had bought tickets to as one of his Christmas presents to me. We used to go pretty often before Juudit was born, so it was really nice to do that again after a long while. Anyway, when I was about to leave I realised I didn't have anything I had to read on the bus because of work or studies. I didn't even have any new magazines to take with me. I had to take my laptop, because I was going to work a little between the nails and ice hockey, so I didn't want to carry any big book on top of that (my laptop is unfortunately quite heavy). So I picked this tiny book from my shelf that I had gotten as a gift already a couple of years ago, but hadn't yet read. Readers from abroad won't know the book or the author, but it was Elokuvamuisti by Katja Kallio.

I have liked Katja Kallio's style also earlier. I read her first novel, Kuutamolla, on one train journey and was deeply affected, even though it's not very deep - almost chick-lit. But I liked her style of writing, and many ideas in the book were so universal, yet fresh (at least that's how they felt then), I spent a lot of time thinking about my own (love) life after that. Her second novel, Sooloilua, on the other hand was a bit of a disappointment, even though I got hooked enough to read it in a day or two as well.


But Elokuvamuisti is a lot like her marvellous third book, Tyypit, in that they're both collections of essays or columns. They're light and entertaining like her novels, but they, too, have those fresh, universal truths, and Katja Kallio has a great gift in phrasing them in an entertaining way. Reading Elokuvamuisti I found myself both laughing out loud and crying. I cry easily and often, but I practically never laugh out loud while reading - or watching telly/films. So kudos, Katja Kallio!




To get to the point, this book is about her love of films. In each chapter she talks about a film or a "film experience" that has impressed her big time in one way or the other. Now I love films, too, and we watch them constantly with Karlo. I like many genres, and know pretty much about films. I just bought Karlo a book about "1001 films one should see before dying" for Christmas. A huge brick of a book, and we've both been really excited about it listing the films that are in the book, but we have yet to see. Yes, you could say we are into films (and TV shows, too - Karlo even did his dissertation on The Sopranos). But I couldn't help but feel this silly jealousy reading Katja Kallio's book, thinking I want to love films as passionately as she does, and be every bit of a film freak she is.

I know it's silly, but what can you do, tehehe. I know I have the same gift of being able to be very influenced by art - let it be a book, film, painting or music - but I still feel my emotions and experiences are not as strong as hers, and I'm not living and breathing the films as passionately. True, I'm not, but it doesn't necessarily make me any lesser a person, eh? *grin*

But the book made me happy reminding me of the power of films (and art in general), and also making me realise how fortunate I am at the moment being able to write about art and culture for a living. Yay! Just give me a good nanny so that I can really get wrapped up in arts and writing, and I'm all good. :)